Archive for July, 2006

Classic Definitions & Cool Meanings

Sunday, July 23rd, 2006

1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage : It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power
9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sitto decide that nothing can be done together.
18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest… except that he got caught.
28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

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12 SIGNS OF FALLING IN LOVE

Sunday, July 23rd, 2006

12. You read his/her texts over and over again…

11. You walk really slow when you’re with
him/her…

10. You feel shy whenever you’re with him/her…

9. When you think about him/her, your heart beats
faster and faster…

8. You smile when you hear his/her voice…

7. When you look at him/her, you can’t see the
other people around you… all you see is him/her…

6. You start listening to slow songs, while thinking
of him/her…

5. He/She becomes all you think about…

4. You get high just from his/her scent…

3. You realize that you’re always smiling to yourself
when you think about him/her…

2. You would do anything for him/her…

1. While reading this, there was one person on
your mind the whole time…..

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Kids in school think quick

Sunday, July 23rd, 2006

TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS : Maria!
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TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
FRANK : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables!
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that’s wrong
GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
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TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD : H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
DONALD : Yesterday you said it’s H to O!
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE : Me!
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS : Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE : I is…
TEACHER : No, Millie….. Always say, "I am."
MILLIE : All right… "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?"
LOUIS : Because George still had the ax in his hand.
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON : No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, teacher, it’s the same dog!;
__________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
HAROLD : A teacher.

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Sleeping Beauty

Thursday, July 6th, 2006

Sleepingbeautyphoto1sb_c_259_2 I know you!
I walked with you once upon a dream
I know you
The gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam
Yet, I know it’s true that visions are seldom all they seem
But If I know you, I know what you’ll do
You’ll love me at once
The way you did once upon a dream 

King Hubert: Nowadays I’m still the king! And I command you to come to your senses!

Merryweather: I’d like to turn her into a fat ol’ hop toad.

Fauna: Now, dear, that isn’t a very nice thing to say. Auroraphillip_3

Flora: Besides, we can’t. You know our magic doesn’t work that way.

Fauna: It can only do good, dear, to bring joy and happiness.

Merryweather: Well, *that* would make me happy.

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The Way You Look Tonight

Wednesday, July 5th, 2006

Mybest Someday when I’m awfully low

When the world is cold

I feel a glow just thinking of you

And the way you look tonight.

Oh, but you’re lovely with your smile so warm

And your cheek so soft

There is nothing for me to love you

And the way you look tonight

With each word your tenderness grows

Tearing my fear apart

And that laugh that wrinkles your nose

touches my foolish heart

Lovely, never ever change

Keep that breathless charm

Won’t you please arrange it?

‘Cause I love you

Just the way you look tonight…

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